Saturday, July 17, 2010

Dreaming about the call...

I have been really struggling to sleep properly recently even though I am absolutely shattered every night and every time I do fall asleep I seem to be right in the middle of some action packed dream which makes no sense at all! No wonder I'm exhausted every morning when all night, I've been saving the world and everything else you can possibly think of! I wake up feeling like I have done all the things I've dreamt about!

Anyway, last night was particularly annoying- I had dream after dream that the phone was ringing with my call for my transplant. It's the first time I have dreamt about it- Im actually surprised at how calm I've been since I became active on the waiting list. I know it is highly unlikely I will be called so early on in my wait but I did think I would be more panicky about it all. However, last night everytime the phone rang in my dreams I woke up and wasn't quite sure if it had really happened and it was very unsettling!

I think it's my mind realising how much I just want to get on with it all- I'm terrified of what the operation and the first few months will be like but I know I have to go through that before I can even think about being normal again and doing everything I keep hoping for, and the sooner it starts- the sooner it's over! Some days I don't feel ready to face it at all but most of the time now I am sick of being ill and just want that phone to ring!

Think I had better get used to waiting though- so many people wait far too long for that right donor- why should I be any different? I think I would actually feel guilty if I queue jumped other people who have been so desperately waiting for a year or more but I guess it can't work like that and I don't think I can wait too long- my last lung function was down to 17%.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Other Blog!

I really liked the idea of having 2 blogs as some of you have done, one for people who know you and one for people who don't! I don't feel I want all my family and friends around me to read all the ramblings of my brain so I have set up another blog that will follow any transplant news if and when it happens. All updates will be on there and this one won't be updated until I'm back with it!

If anyone is interested- the other blog site is

This all seems a bit over-organised but I suppose it's best that way- I won't be able to update anyone once I'm called!! xx

Monday, July 5, 2010

More About Me!

I started my blog originally for the sole purpose of meeting people and sharing experiences about lung problems and tranplants etc and I have now done 2 posts on the subject and realise my blog is already sounding rather moany and depressing! So, in an attempt to change that I thought it would be nice if I told you a bit about myself- not just my life as an ill person! :-) So, here goes :-

I live in Jersey which is a lovely place, a little small and annoying and expensive to travel to the mainland but it makes up for that in it's beauty and friendliness. It is a great place to live, you are never far from the beach and it's slightly warmer than the UK usually! I have a lot of great friends over here and feel very lucky to have been brought up here.

I live in a small house on the outskirts of the main town here, which I own with my husband Phil and we have a 2 year old cavalier king charles spaniel called Disney (or Dizzy or Dis!) She is a complete spoilt little baby and although she is supposed to be my puppy- she only has eyes for her 'Daddy'! Disney is such a happy, friendly little doggie, just wants to be loved and cuddled constantly and is great company for me at home. One of my main goals in life is to be able to take her on lovely walks everyday! (Picture above of the cheeky little thing on my bed!)

Phil and I got married earlier this year, having been engaged for a year (before I got properly ill). Phil is great and very supportive.

I used to work in Finance, the main industry over here but gave that up last summer. I enjoyed my job but mainly because of the friends I had there. I am looking forward to doing something else when I go back to work- haven't decided what type of thing yet tho. I would love a wedding dress shop!!

I have a great family, 2 brothers and sister who are all younger than me and apart from 1 brother, they all live in Jersey too. My parents also live here and my Mum is with me most of the time at the moment at home.

I LOVE the following (in no particular order):
laughing, talking, holidays in the sun, happy people, manners, shopping, fancy dress parties, pink, purple and girly things, clothes, shoes & jewellery, friends & family, socialising, pyjamas and duvet days, sleeping, music, reading, films, big brother, cheese, capri sun drinks, thai takeaways and McDonalds cheeseburgers!!

I'm sure there is lots more I should be putting on that list but my mind has gone blank!

Think that's about all for now, hope that's not all too boring! xx